Anxious

I just emailed off an essay I've been working on since February to the people in my writing workshop, and I'm terrified. There are REAL writers participating in this program, and I have all of the usual fears about being "found out", that I'm not a "real" writer, and that they will laugh me out of the room. I have spent so much time on this essay it is ridiculous, and now I am just picking at it - a word here, a word there...it needs fresh eyes, and in particular fresh eyes of complete strangers who won't just be nice to me. It's a narrative non-fiction piece, with the first half "showing" the story and the second half "telling" the back story. I am not sure if this structure works, and yet doing it any other way would ruin the surprises of the story.

I do hope they laugh at the funny parts, though.

In other news, Wilbert the Cat caught his first bird today, much to the chagrin of my sister who had to clean up the feathers. My nieces and nephew were horrified, with Grace saying "bad kitty" and "oh the poor little birdie". Wilbert is now grounded. Honestly, I thought the chipmunk that lives in the stone wall would be the first to go.

They finally have a moving day  and that has suddenly brought everything into focus. I've become so used to having them so close - and now they're headed to California. I'm happy for them in that I think it will be a wonderful experience, but I will miss the regular hugs and laughs. I get to go on a "date" with my nephew on Saturday to go see "Get Smart" - I am not sure this is entirely appropriate for an almost-10 year old, but my sister is allowing it. This is partly why I decided to take the writing class - pure distraction from the inevitable emptiness I'm going to feel shortly. Even if it does come equipped with a jacuzzi.