Today I did practically nothing, except start a new, fairly complicated sock pattern and walk to the lake near my apartment. In visiting the lake, I also discovered that I live across the street from a large state mental health complex. How utterly convenient.
I am really cranky for no tangible reason other than that I've been having bad dreams lately and they are bothering me. They aren't nightmares, but just unsettling dreams that frankly make me not want to go to sleep. For example last night I dreamed that me, my sister, and her old friend Beth moved in with my old boyfriend Bill in Tennessee. I pretty much hated Tennessee, and while Bill was totally sweet, I wound up not really liking him all that much either. In the dream, he wasn't exactly thrilled to come home and discover us living in his house, particularly when I reiterated I had no intentions of marrying him. There was a lot of nasty tension in the dream, and then at one point I was like, "wait, my sister can't be here with Beth, she has three kids. Oh my god, where are the kids?" and it was like I was in some parallel universe where her kids didn't exist. And I couldn't reconcile it in the dream. At any rate, it upset me on some deep karmic level and I can't seem to shake it.
So I went for a walk, trying to get myself out of my funk, which was marginally successful. It's a small but pretty lake that reminds me a lot of the 'Hills:
But it wasn't quiiiite over yet. I got home from the lake and my internet connection went completely haywire, inexplicably making me cry. I left a whiny voice mail for T., although what I thought he could fix from Maine (possibly Alabama) is beyond me, and also silently chiding myself for needing a guy to rescue me. I dug out the wireless instruction book, though, and actually managed to fix it myself, though how my network preferences got switched from "ethernet adaptor" to "internal modem" is beyond me. But I fixed it, "all by myselps" (to quote my nephew), and THAT at least cheered me up.